Where is He when you’re alone? When you’re crying in the closet? In the darkness? In the brokenness? Can you see Him through your tears? Can you see Him when your eyes are swollen from crying for so long? Are you even looking for Him?
I recently came across a friend of a family member who has been on the move since she was 18 years old, living on all corners of the United States. On New Year’s day she called me to let me know she had been in town and would like to see us. When I asked her where she was staying she said “my car”. January in Arizona is cold and that night we were expecting it to drop in the low 30’s. Naturally I invited her to come stay with us for the night.
God opened a wonderful opportunity to present the Gospel, His love, and never changing character to her. After dinner we talked and when God was brought up, she told me that God has let her down. He didn’t rescue her when she called to Him. She cried for rescuing from abuse and hurt and when He failed to show she cried for death.
“Where was He?”, she asked. I was at a loss of words, which doesn’t happen much. My response was simply, “I don’t know. I don’t know why God didn’t rescue you from your situation, but I do know God’s character doesn’t change in the midst of our suffering. The rescuing He does offer you is that from sin and death.” She then pretended to go to her car, and left. I haven’t seen her since.
You see, in her pain, in her brokenness, and in her darkness God was and is right there with her. Offering to pull her from the brink of eternal death and lovingly placing people in her life to share His truth and love for her. He is there with her, pursuing her. She can keep running, hiding, and avoiding the truth, but in God’s compassion and love He will keep giving her opportunities to turn her life over to Him for healing.
In our pain we often ask God why He abandoned us. Why He turned His back on us. I’m reminded of Psalm 22:1-2, where David cries, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest.” In these verses you can feel David’s pain. I picture him huddled in the dark with only a small candle to give him warmth. I picture his eyes swollen from his cries, as he looks to heaven asking God why He won’t answer. I picture it so well, because I have been in that position many times. Crying out with absolute certainty that God has abandoned me and is helping answer the prayers of someone more worthy. As believers, we can look to God’s word and know that this isn’t true. We know that He’s compassionate, loving, and our provider. We know that when we sit in the closet, crying out, He’s gently holding us and waiting to guide us back to Him.
I’m so encouraged by David’s cry, because if you read on to verse 3 he says “Yet you are holy”. I love that his cries weren’t the end, because in the very next breath he praises God for His holiness. And in chapter 23 David goes on the describe the Lord as his shepherd, guiding him and giving him peace.
Jesus doesn’t offer us an easy life. This world has been ruined by sin. Sin effects every aspect of our lives. It effects our families, our moods, our friends, our neighborhoods, our churches, and even the earth. What Jesus does offer is salvation. Freedom from the bondage of sin. He offers a new life in Him. It’s our job to accept it and walk in faith. We’ll still have heartache and tears. We’ll still have nights where we are huddled in the closet and feel alone, but Jesus walks with us and offers us a hope that is unattainable by our own means.
My prayer for you, as you read this, is that you will see Christ in your darkest moments. You will move to Him and let Him be your comfort. We can’t avoid trials, but we can move into the arms of our compassionate Savior.
Daily Salt 'n Light 
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